I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
