Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Randomize
