He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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