so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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