if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
