You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
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at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
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Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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