you guys were way drunker than both of me
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
