she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
