do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
