that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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