now i know why i became what i already was.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
