ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
