Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
