going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
