He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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