Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
