I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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