I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize