O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
