Don't you send me to vm
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
