"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
