they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
