Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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