not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
