i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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