it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
