I want to stick my p in your. b.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
