I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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