just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
