Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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