i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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