If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i just had sex bonerless
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
