We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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