man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
