Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
It's never too late to be topless.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
