she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
