are you still at the devil's house?
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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