I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize