....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
