It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
