I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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