i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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