what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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