The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
