very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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