Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
