am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize