So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
