Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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