butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
