dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Randomize
