i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize