Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
