U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
