Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
