man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Randomize
