With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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