Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
