Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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