shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
That's when you crack a 10am beer
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
