when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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