i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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