the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Randomize
