how can u be prego again
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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