ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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