Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
