Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
