Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
