We won't sleep together?
My room smells like vodka and shame
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
