You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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