marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
